#WeWriWa // #8sunday 07 – February 02, 2020

Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, where writers share 8-10 sentences from their WIP for from a current writing project, published or unpublished, then visit other participants and offer opinions, critiques, support.

This week, I’ve continued working on a submission for Cantina Publishing’s Silk & Steel: An Adventure Anthology of Queer Ladies. I finished the second draft, thought it was awful, and proceeded to change tack again. And I just wish this was the tack I’d hit on the first time around, because everything is flowing so much better now, but it’s now only three weeks until submissions close, so I’m not going to have a lot of time to get feedback and polish it.

In this scene, the mission to put down the dragon starts going terribly wrong. IT’s mentioned earlier in the story that the guns they use shoot bolts of electricity rather than bullets as dragon scales are impervious to the latter but act as a conductor for the former.

With a screech, it latched onto Helena’s shoulders, pulling her into the air. Tori was still holding Helena’s hand and was momentarily also lifted off the ground before her hand slipped. The dragon rose high into the air, taking a screaming Helena with it.

“HELENA!” Tori ran after the dragon, fumbling to get her gun out of its holster. She flicked the safety switch off and heard the gun begin to hum with electricity. She aimed as she ran, but she knew it was too dangerous to take a shot. If she missed and hit Helena, Helena would be incinerated. And even if she struck true, what then? The dragon would fall out of the sky and Helena would be crushed.

And with that, I will see you all next week!

Published by Emily Wrayburn

She/Her. Writer. Reader. Blogger. Hufflepuff. Theatre nerd.

7 thoughts on “#WeWriWa // #8sunday 07 – February 02, 2020

  1. Much better. I like the action! It draws me in.

    Since it’s a draft, I’ll share one thing that jumped out at me. This line: “The dragon rose high into the air, …”

    I’d eliminate the “into the air” since you’re already used it a couple of ines before.

    I think this tack is a keeper. 🙂

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: